lately

It’s tough to say what life has been like “lately.” I’m channeling my inner toddler/infant, I suppose, because everything seems twice as intense as it ought to, the highs higher, the lows lower, my mood changing so fast that I can never see the storm clouds coming before the downpour.

This morning I woke up in a beautiful mood, and in under an hour it was gone, no reason given. I felt raw until lunch time, the way you feel when you’re sunburned all over. Everything was painful, everything abrasive, everything obnoxious. The beautiful day, the ecstatic toddler, the beach, it didn’t make a dent.

The afternoon, on the other hand, was smooth as a worn seashell. A nap for me, then chocolate and coffee and quilting while he kept sleeping. We prepped dinner side-by-side, went running together, then I got to finish cooking while he and Dada ran around the backyard.

When I went upstairs to put him to bed after bath time, he leaned in to snuggle and whacked his head against my cheekbone so hard it ached off and on for an hour.

I can’t seem to find an even keel. Hoping the autumn, the fall, that starts in an hour will bring me some grounding. Hoping a more regular yoga practice and a little less sugar in my diet will relax the kinks. Hoping, trying, one day at a time.

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